Thatcher's cover-drive

A nick to square-edge, lbw, howzat, wide, tea, kum-by-ya, kapow: all terms inexorably associated with cricket, but none exemplify the sport of gentleman, as much as "fair play." And yet, even so, when India chose to rebut the Umpire's dismissal of Ian Bell in the 2nd test last year, they acted above and beyond the code of conduct that England unilaterally gave to the world, or so it appeared at that time. In reality, the links between England and India are now far deeper than all, but a handful of people ever suspected.
Relations with India were truly cemented in the early 1980s; whilst 'Cowboy Bob' Reagan fiddled with his 'Star Wars' initiative and the world focused on the 'Cold War', Lady Thatcher saw a better usage for Tory wealth UK taxes. The daring Ms Thatcher implemented a plan so daring that the French would likely stick a hat on it and call it a revolution: monies were diverted to a secret fund, titled: Project Tesco.
Secure in the knowledge that a loathing of Europe was innate within those raised to ascend to power by birth to loath Europe, over £2bn was spent in developing secret technology to save England should a financial doomsday ever strike the continent. Since 1982, utilising a small team of carpenters and car mechanics, four enormous mechanical legs have been attached to the corners of the country.
When David Cameron decides - a date of June 17th 2012 has been provisionally designated - with the simple flick of a switch, England will proceed to detach itself from Scotland and Wales, casting them asunder, rising up on legs over ten miles long that will slowly walk a jubilant nation to a new home: India, where it will relocate just outside Delhi.
Questions exist on the funding, naturally; monies were not all accrued from tax payers. Moreover, what is in it for India? The clue is in the name: "Project: Tesco." England's gift to the world will become a gift to India, as the supermarket behemoth invades proffers its wares to another grateful nation...
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